And why? Do you ask?
Well, let me start off by saying that I had a very bad day today at work.
It all started when Daniela went into my office and came to do her everyday visit. So we were talking and all... then she tells me...
"I think Im going to prom".
And i got surprised. So surprised that maybe she noticed. So i just starred at her and she kept on going..
"Its cus one of my friends asked me, and i didnt want to go because my father passed away not too long ago and i dont want people to say that i dont care about his death and attending parties right after that happened." She said....
And i stayed quiet...
She then kept on going...
"So the guy that asked me kept on begging me, till I said yes. But if we dont go, he said he might take me to the movies., Maybe its a sign..."
Right there
I blanked out
For a simple phrase like that.
I just totally felt that the tears would eventually burst out, but i kept it in.
I mean. After all these months, of me treating her like a princess, like what she is, being the most gentlemen out there..... she tells me that maybe this guy wants something with her...
What confused me is that I HAD ASKED HER FOR PROM NOT TOO LONG AGO... but i said that maybe we shouldnt go because I didnt want her to get mood swings and to fell bad for attending parties right after her dad died. And she agreed with it.
Then today she tells me that she will be going to prom... and i just felt like crying.
Because it hurts.
How can you try your best, with all your effort and might, to try to gain a proper space in someones heart, then some guy comes in and takes ur place withut even carring????
And ITS SUCKS!!!!
I feel so depressed now. Because I feel like i have just lost it, but i know i havent.
My biggest fear is that she ends up being with that guy. As in both of them "Together".
And what about me?
All the time ive wasted
all the effort ive done
all the commitments ive done just to make her feel happy and protected
all going down the sewer?
Or is it just me that is THINKING TOO MUCH?
Im so confussed....
I dont know what to do anymore..
Because its just odd.
I want her... badly...
and for something like this to ruin it?
I hope not. All I can do is wait till mnday to see if anything ever did happen.
Because Ive never been a dumb dude; No Im not dense.
I just had a slight lack of common sense.
I was inviting her into my heart, but now shes out riding in some other guys car.
She was my night time, and I thought I was her star.
And I told her today in a message in Myspace
"Please dont worry about me Im fine...
Trust me when I say, That I’ll be OK…"
And It sucks soooo bad.
because I Try to settle down and look what I get.
I thought it was my time, but I guess not yet.
I hope its all just confusion and everything turns back to normal. Thats all i pray for.
omar
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *big hug*
i'm so sorry. I wish i could do somethin' for ya to make you feel better, but i don't have that kind of power in mii hands right now. I know how you feel, when you try to do somethin' nice for someone and they turn you down like last nights turkey. ya it suckx, but yo have to think at some-what how she must feel. tryn' to keep all oranized in her life. I mean, the prom thing she must have forgotton that you asked her, but she must have a lot going on now. i mean, she kinda needs a break for while so she can settle herself in since her dad died. Ya, she should have checked in wid you to see if it was okaii or not, then you could have told her that you asked her already. <then maybe somethin' could have changed, but since she didn't.>
you know, i know it hurts a lot right now. if you have to cry, get it out, nothin' should have to be that big of a burdin for you to carry. It's just too much for one soul to handle. God will help guide you though it if you let him. Sure he may not be visible to see, but his spirit will help. trust me. I'll pray for you, and i hope things get better. if you ever wanna talk just message me or send a comment. <a loyal friend will be here waiting>
-Rachael
*hugs*
Corathor is right. It kind of sucks as a guy because if you come off as just a friend, she'll never think you're interested. But you seem like a nice guy and not the type to try and make a move or anything like that. But...sometimes that's the way to go in order to let her know you don't want to be "friends" you want more. Sounds bad, right? But trust me, girls won't always see that as bad. It's odd...we're odd creatures =^^()=
